Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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