That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
