I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have post one night stand depression
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
