Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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