Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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