guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
