do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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