You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
