My nipple is on Facebook.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize