You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
