I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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