i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
ttyl tear gas
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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