somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
