Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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