on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
