five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
