i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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