How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
