i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
