soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
