Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
