maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
