my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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