It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
