Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
