Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
