so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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