walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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