My liver just broke up with me...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is Oprah even human
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
