I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize