just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
