Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
