brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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