I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
