You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
