There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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