Your dad touched me again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
