he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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