I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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