So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
