I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
