I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
