Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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