Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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