after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize