it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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