How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
