im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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