I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
