My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you inspire me to be a worse person
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
