My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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