i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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