I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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