Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
