how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
