i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My penis needs a shock collar
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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