I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
