sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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