Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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