Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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