just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
